Bella

 

To Bella:

It’s so easy to lose sight of what’s important in our lives. And this isn’t me being overly sentimental because of what has happened to me last week. I mean, yes, sure, okay… But there’s also something to this: That sentimentality, that emotion, these things that make us connect with other souls, is at the heart of EVERYTHING this letter has been about these last few years: Business (Meaning LIFE) , marketing, social media, communications, responsibility, best practices… Nothing can ever be great unless it can tap into the very essence of what makes us want to connect with each other, and no Human, executive or business manager or cashier can ever truly be great at life or their jobs unless they also tap into the very things that makes genuine human connections possible. If ever there was a secret to successfully building a Life, a brand, a lovebrand, the kind that people will fight for and whose mark they will tattoo on their bodies, it is this. The rest is merely execution.

Are there business lessons in this list? Yes. There are. BUT SIMPLY substitute the word LIFE for Business, all are deeply human lessons at the core. If being human can make a business better – LOL LIFE better, if it can fuel its soul (or even simply give it one), then yes, let these be business lessons. But don’t ever forget that what makes a business truly great isn’t technology or design or a fancy logo. Those are expressions of something deeper. Something more visceral and powerful and true. What makes a business great, what makes it special, worthy of a connection, worthy of trust and loyalty, admiration and respect, even love, always starts with a beating heart, not a beeping cash register. (One is the cause, and the other one of many effects. Don’t lose sight of that distinction. Horse before the cart: Soul drives love. Love drives business.)

If you only walk away with one bit of wisdom from this, let it be this: You cannot build a better Life unless you first become a better human being. Everything that strips you of your humanity, of your empathy, of your ability to connect with others is bad for business. It’s bad practice. It is doomed to fail in the end.

On Thursday January 17, 2019 I lost my Bella, my best friend of 11 years , my faithful companion and guardian, the kindest, most loyal and giving soul I have ever met. True to herself, Bella was courageous, tender and selfless until the end.

As I have been in hibernation for a week I have been trying to figure out how to express my feelings and let everyone know Bella was gone, Bella would want me to get up, out and start moving on, so I settled on sharing some of the things she taught me over the years. Or rather, the things I didn’t realize she had taught me until this past week. She and I had some long chats, in our own way, and the girl was much wiser than I gave her credit for.

As my best friend always reminded me, “If more people were as loyal and loving as dogs the world would be a better place.” And she’s right. How do you become a better human being then? Well, that’s up to you, but if you had asked Bella, she might have given you a few pointers of her own. Granted, she was never a Fortune 500 C.E.O. (She thought she was) She didn’t design the iPad. She didn’t invent the internet or write a book. She never presented at a conference. All she did was hang out with me and Roo. We went on car rides. She loved to swim and ride in the Boat, She lived to play ball, She watched me work. She loved hanging out looking for a taste as I cooked and she loved Christmas – it meant Cookie tasting time. She lived the simple life of a dog, uncluttered by Instagram, Facebook and Twitter followers. She was a dog, and so her perspective is a little different from what you may be used to. At any rate, here are twenty-three things she and I discussed at length last week. I hope they will be as valuable to you as they now are to me.

Twenty-three things my Best Friend taught me about being a Better Man:

1. Be true to your own nature. There’s no point in faking it. A Labrador isn’t a chihuahua or a pug or a greyhound, and for good reason. Being comfortable in your own skin is 90% of the trick to rocking out your life. Not everyone is meant to be Police Dog or a seeing eye dog or an sled dog racer. It’s okay. Find yourself and embrace your nature. That’s always a great place to start.
2. Be true to the ones you love. Your friends, your family, your tribe, your PACK. A life lived for others is a life well-lived. Selfish pursuits aside, ambition often grows hollow when turned inwardly instead of outwardly. It’s one thing to want to be pack leader, but there is just as much value and honor in serving than in leading. When in doubt, see item number one.
3. Never say NO to a chance to go on a car ride. Do it with pride and enthusiasm – let your tongue hang out and smell the air. When the days grow short, I guarantee you’ll wish you’d have gone on more car rides.
4. Leashes are the enemy. Avoid them at all cost. Run free and see and travel the world. Sniff and smell everything.
5. People are strange. So much potential, yet here they are, doing everything they can to complicate rather than simplify their lives. It’s puzzling. Be wary, but be accepting to others.
6. Belly scratches. Accept a good Belly rub anytime all the time. Be gracious and thankful for Accolades from others.
7. The end isn’t pretty, but if you can face it with dignity and grace, none of your body’s weaknesses will matter. Your heart, your courage, your spirit is what people will see and remember. This isn’t only applicable in your last days and weeks. It’s applicable every day of your life. Adversity happens. It’s how you deal with it that matters.
8. Forgiveness is easier for us dogs than for humans, but humans have opposable thumbs and the ability to speak, so it all balances out in the end.
9. Your bark is your own. No one has one quite like yours. Own it. Love it. Project it.
10. Trust your instincts. They rarely steer you wrong. The feeling in your gut though, that’s probably just something you ate. Gosh, I love to eat..Be a Labrador….
11. Just because you’re meant to live on land doesn’t mean you can’t feel at home in water. Play outside the safety zone. Swim in the deep end. Dive in. We’re all designed to do more than the obvious.
12. Play more. The game is irrelevant. Just play. Tip: Exploring is play. Having adventures is play. Finding out what’s behind the next hill is play.
13. Your body growing old doesn’t mean you can’t be a puppy at heart. Actually, the first should have no impact on the latter. If you find that it does, take a step back, regroup, and restart. Always be a puppy at heart.
14. Humans aren’t all bad. But they aren’t all good either. Choose yours wisely.
15. Always keep that 20% wolf in you. If you ever give it up, you’re done. A dog without a little wildness in the blood isn’t a dog. It’s a furry robot. The beauty of a great dog doesn’t lie in its obedience but in its loyalty. Loyalty is a choice. Dogs choose to be dogs and not wolves. That’s what makes them so special.
16. Running full bore across a field in the rain. There is nothing better…You might catch that Squirrel….
17. There are no mysteries. Take squirrels, for example: Half rat, half badger. Crap in a tree. Eat nuts. Where’s the mystery in that? If you look hard enough, you can figure most things out for yourself. The world isn’t as complicated as it sometimes seems. (All I want in life is to catch 1 Squirrel – As my Dad would yell – “SQUIRREL” Oh the good times….)
18. Sometimes, you have to back up your growl with a bite. Go with it. Some people like to test your bark-to-bite ratio. With those “inquisitive” types, a little education goes a long way. As much as it sucks to have to go there, it is sometimes necessary. (It’s what the fangs are for.) Your territory, your space, your safety… They’re worth defending. Make a show of it once, and chances are you’ll never have to teach anyone a lesson again.
19. Being alone is no way to go through life. We’re pack animals. Humans, dogs, same thing. We need others to make all of this worthwhile. As an aside, if we live through others, why not also live for others, even if only a little bit? It isn’t that much of a stretch.
20. When you chase the ball, CHASE the fucking ball. Two reasons: a) It’s a chase. You don’t half-ass a chase. You go all out. It’s what you do. It’s the point. b) You don’t want some other mutt to get to the ball before you and slobber it all up, do you?
21. Always, no matter what give good morning Kisses to the one that you wake next to. Start your day with a smile and excitement it will help you to have the best day ever. Live everyday as it may be the last.
22. Never ever turn down a Cookie when offered one. (Shouldn’t even have to be said)
23. In the end, you will revisit your adventures, your battles, your chases, your voyages and all the excitement of your life with bemused pride, but it’s the quiet moments with loved ones that your mind will settle on. The comfort of those days when all you did was spend lazy hours with them, your head on their lap, their on yours, taking in the afternoon sun and the hundreds of fleeting stories carried like whispers on the breeze, those are the memories that will stay with you to the end and beyond.

Never give up on your thirst for life, on the beauty subtle moments, and on chasing that ball as hard and fast as your legs and heart will carry you.

Bella will be missed. The sadness will gradually give way to a nostalgic love that leaves a warm spot in the heart when Bella is remembered and her name is mentioned. The house just isn’t the same without her. Bella was a dog but she was more than a dog. She was a minister. She loved unconditionally. She comforted. She offered friendship. She gave and received love well. She was simply my Best Friend. Go in peace, dear Bella. The verdict on your life is greater than I’ve been able to speak over the corpse of most human beings I’ve known. The verdict is this: Yours was a life well lived. Go, now. We release you but won’t forget you and will forever be grateful for the gift of the days we shared and the memories I will always have.
As I told you every time when I would leave out the Garage door to run an errand without you – Bell,” I’ll see you in a bit please be good and don’t eat Roo”

• I’ll see you in a bit beautiful..

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CHARLOTTE

To All:

For the last 9 days I’ve been trying to think of something to say, to Thank all of you for your kind words and condolences for Charlotte. When I wrote the quick note or words last week it was mostly for myself as I reflected on everything she has meant to me. I thought maybe a few people would read it and it would just be glossed over, as it was really a way for me to quickly express my feelings. I never expected to get as many likes, comments and messages!!

When I saw all the comments and messages coming in, I started to feel guilty for posting the message. It wasn’t meant to make everyone feel sad – I think Charlotte (And definitely I) would rather everyone take a moment to think about the people and pets that they love while holding them close to your heart and realize what a precious gift life and love really is.  

This is obviously been a very difficult time, But I wanted to take a moment to truly thank you for all of your comments and messages, the support and love for Charlotte has been amazing.

Bella and I are taking things day-by-day. We miss our friend very much, but I know that eventually we will be back into our normal routine. In the meantime, Bella and I will put one foot or paw in front of the other, and lean on each other along with friends and family when we need it.  Thank you again.